What I learned from the 30-day tidying challenge (KonMari method)
I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for the first time in November 2014, and I wasn't sure what to make of the book. Back then, I had so many possessions, and so little respect for them, that book’s concepts seemed pretty radical. But Marie Kondo was enthusiastic and convincing, so I decided to try her method with an open mind. I diligently followed the first step and wrote out a vision document.
Vividly describe your ideal life. Why do you want to live this way?
My vision document was painful because there were deep chasms between the life I was leading and the life I wanted to lead. Sometimes the hardest person to be vulnerable with is yourself — I tried my best to be open and honest with myself, and that helped propel me forward. I initially thought of the tidying process as a decluttering exercise. I was overwhelmed by how much I had, but I still managed to discard a lot of things that didn't spark joy, even though I wasn't exactly sure what "spark joy" meant. I went through the clothing, books, and papers categories, but then I lost steam and abandoned the KonMari method before reaching the komono and sentimental categories.
In the years that followed my initial attempt at tidying, I started to gradually understand. I became increasingly aware of how I felt when I wore a piece of clothing or used an object in our home. Even staple items, which I had felt indifferent about in the past, started to spark joy because I appreciated their value and utility. I started having more respect for my home and the objects contained therein. I knew I wanted to try again and this time go through the entire KonMari method in full, but there was always something more pressing on my to-do list.
After I left my full-time job, I watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix and felt a jolt of inspiration. I was incredibly moved by the families featured on the show, and the way the KonMari method transformed their lives. Some of you are familiar with how I like to use monthly challenges and 10-minute habits to gently nudge my behavior in a different direction. Since I was feeling inspired and motivated, I thought this would be the perfect time to try another monthly challenge.
This 30-day tidying challenge is an intensive approach to the Konmari method.
I created this challenge in 2019 to motivate myself to complete the tidying method in a short period of time, as Marie Kondo recommends. This is key to changing your mindset. We go through six basic steps and five categories of items in the 30-day tidying challenge.
Below, I've outlined the six basic steps for the KonMari method. If you want to develop a more in-depth understanding of the method, I highly recommend both of Marie Kondo's books: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy.
1. Commit yourself to tidying up.
2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
3. Finish discarding first.
4. Tidy by category, not by location.
5. Follow the right order.
6. Ask yourself if it sparks joy.
Source: Spark Joy by Marie Kondo.
The five categories we’ll be tidying are clothing, books, papers, komono (miscellany), and sentimental items. If you would like to try this challenge yourself, check out this downloadable calendar that I put together for my own tidying journey. Depending on your situation, you may want to tackle this project over a number of months, and that is totally ok! You can still use the calendar — just follow the order, but take more time for each set of categories. I also created a blank calendar that you can download here.
For me, day 0 was the most important day in the 30-day tidying challenge.
Before I started tidying, I took some time to focus on mindset. I determined my vision for my ideal life (rather different from the one I wrote in 2014), set my intention, and greeted my home.
Rather than thinking of the tidying challenge as decluttering or housework, I thought of it as a self-awareness and self-reflection exercise. It was important for me to lay a strong foundation for the journey ahead and what I was hoping to accomplish. This clear vision of why I wanted to tidy kept me moving forward even when I felt resistance and encountered obstacles in the 30-day challenge.
It’s been over two years since I’ve completed this tidying challenge and I haven’t experienced much clutter rebound. My home environment feels more intentional and functions in a way that supports the life I want to live. In this marathon blog post, I’m going to take us through what I learned on each day of the 30-day tidying challenge.
What I learned on Day 1
Clothing: tops, bottoms, skirts, dresses, suits, jackets, coats
Your understanding of “spark joy” will shift as you tidy. I had a lot of trouble with “spark joy” when I first tried the KonMari method in 2014. Within the clothing category, there were some pieces that clearly sparked joy (for me, these were pretty things or sparkly things). Then there were other pieces that didn’t necessarily spark joy but were familiar, comfortable, and functional. As I tidied my clothing on day 1, I noticed that my definition of spark joy became wider and more encompassing. This shift in mindset gave me a new perspective on my clothing, and I can now truly say that several of my functional, no-frills clothing items do indeed spark joy. From day 1 onward, try to be more aware of how you feel when you select an item of clothing to wear, even if it seems like it’s “nothing special.” Why did you choose to wear this particular item versus all the other options you have in your closet? Over time, you'll become more attuned to what sparks joy.
Do you want to bring this item with you into the future? Marie Kondo asked this question a few times on the Netflix series, and it resonated with me. I asked myself this question whenever I came across an item I was uncertain about. Deep down inside, I knew that these particular items didn’t spark joy, but there was something preventing me from letting go. Asking yourself if you want to bring this item with you into the future is a good visualization exercise to determine whether it still has a place in your life.
It’s deeply uncomfortable to tidy without any distractions. I usually multitask by listening to podcasts or watching YouTube videos while doing housework, but not during this tidying challenge! Rather than decluttering or housework, I'm thinking of this tidying challenge as a self-awareness and self-reflection exercise, so that means being fully attentive to how I feel about the items I am handling. At the beginning, it was rather uncomfortable to tidy in complete silence, but this was essential in allowing me to reflect on the impact that all this stuff had on my life. Tidying without distractions is not explicitly recommended in the KonMari method, so if you would like some background noise as you’re tidying, perhaps try playing some ambient music.
What I learned on day 2
Clothing: Socks, stockings, underwear, swimwear
Balling up your socks is cruel. This KonMari-ism surprised me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Socks protect one of the most important parts of my body: my feet. I thought about everything my feet go through in the course of a day, and this made me appreciate and respect my socks even more. I stopped balling up my socks in 2014, when I first read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but I was storing them in piles instead of vertically. This time around, I arranged my socks and underwear vertically, and I'm so happy with the result.
Use little boxes to organize within larger spaces. Many of us hang onto empty boxes because it seems like a waste even to recycle them. Now's the time to put these boxes to use! You can make use of smaller boxes within a dresser drawer or a larger storage space to organize small items. For now, use the boxes you already have. Once you are done with the discarding stage and are ready to move to the organizing stage, if you wish to buy some prettier or more sturdy boxes, that would be a good time as you will know exactly what type of boxes you need.
Your items will show you how they want to be folded. You don't have to fuss too much about the exact folding method. As long as you end up with a compact rectangle that will stand up on its own, you will be able to store things vertically as per the KonMari method. I noticed when I was folding my underwear and swimwear that my items actually showed me how they want to be folded, and it's really quite a natural process — so feel free to fold and tidy with confidence!
What I learned on day 3
Clothing: bags, small leather goods, bag charms
New storage ideas will magically appear as you continue to tidy. When I woke up on Day 3, I did a 10-minute meditation while lying in bed and an idea surfaced. I have a small area in the condo that is away from the rest of my wardrobe, which I've always used to store a few special clothing pieces that I don't want to get damaged in my overstuffed closet. What if I found room for these pieces in my closet, which is now a little less full thanks to the tidying I did on day 1? Then perhaps I could use the newly emptied area to help consolidate my bags into one place in the condo. I went though the process for day 3, tried out my idea, and it worked! Other pieces will fall into place as you continue to tidy.
Use the bag-in-bag method. Prior to tidying, I was only using the bag-in-bag method for one bag. I'm not sure why I didn't use this method before, because it was really effective in reducing the amount of space my bags took up! It was helpful to lay out all my bags in one central location so I could start grouping similar items together. I ended up using the bag-in-bag method for my backpacks, my beach/bucket bags, two of my more sentimental bags, and bags/SLGs that I normally use only when I travel. By saving space, I was able to consolidate my bag storage from a whopping six areas in the condo down to two.
It feels good to let go. I had several handbags left in my collection that I knew did not spark joy. I realized this years ago, even before I first read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Seeing these bags periodically over the last several years brought up tremendous feelings of guilt. I felt bad for not using them, and I noticed they were becoming crushed and misshapen because I hadn't stored them properly. From time to time, I would pull one out to wear, not because I wanted to but rather out of guilt. After a lot of self-reflection during tidying today, I was able to let them go. They quickly found a new home, and I felt so much lighter and happier after releasing them from my mind.
What I learned on day 4
Clothing: scarves, belts, hats, hair accessories, gloves, mittens
There will be days when you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything. Day 4 was one of those days for me. I was overwhelmed by my collection of scarves and other clothing accessories, I wasn't able to let go of many items, and I was drawing a blank on storage solutions. There were a few items I knew I should let go of, but I still held onto them. I had faith that it’d come together in the end, but I still felt a bit down.
Try to store your accessories like beautiful art pieces. This is a great suggestion on so many levels. Not only does it make your accessories more visually appealing, but you can also see exactly what you have, and potentially reach for the items more as a result.
If you're not sure if an accessory sparks joy, wear it for a day and see how you feel. I identified so many items that sparked joy on day 4 that I had to wonder if it was the item that truly sparked joy, or my memory of it. I don't wear a lot of clothing accessories, due to forgetfulness and laziness, so I'm not sure I believe myself when I say a certain item sparks joy. I like pretty things, but I have too many pretty things to justify keeping them all. Something that helps me is wearing the item for a day and noticing how I feel throughout the day. I'm thinking of doing an accessory-a-day challenge (similar to lipstick-a-day) where I wear a different accessory every single day until I've gone through my entire collection. Then I can give each item the full attention it deserves. At the end of the day, if I still feel that the item sparks joy, I can find a spot for it in my home. Otherwise, I can let it go without fear of regret.
What I learned on day 5
Clothing: jewelry, watches, glasses, sunglasses
Select items to keep rather than items to discard. I was getting stuck on jewelry, similar to my experience on day 4, so I knew I had to try a different approach. All along the way, I had been trying to select items to keep, but I kept reverting back to picking items to discard. As soon as I shifted my mindset and started picking out the jewelry I wanted to keep, it got much easier. I knew right away which items sparked joy, and I naturally hit a point when it became more clear that the items remaining did not spark joy. I gave myself permission to release the remaining items, and off they went out of my home.
Save sentimental items for day 30. Jewelry and watches are categories that potentially contain many sentimental items. When I came across something that I felt I was keeping for sentimental reasons, I set it aside to review again on day 30. According to the KonMari method, it’s easier to tidy these items at the end, because our "spark joy" muscle will be well trained by then.
What I learned on day 6
Clothing: shoes, boots, slippers
Your ability to determine what sparks joy will improve over time. When I tidied shoes today, I employed a similar method as day 5, where I selected items to keep rather than picking items to discard. I found it much easier today, and there ended up being a clear divide between the "wants" and the "do not wants." I selected the pairs of shoes that I wanted to keep until I couldn't bring myself to pick up any others, because I knew the pairs that remained didn't bring me any joy.
Thank each item as you let it go. While I often forget to do this, I made sure to thank my shoes, because walking is such an integral part of my life. Thanking inanimate objects may feel silly at first but this is an important part of the KonMari method. If you're letting go of an item that you've used regularly over the years, you can thank it for its good service. If you're letting go of an item that you've rarely (or never) used, you can thank it for teaching you that this type of item does not suit you. When you express gratitude, you can start to feel more positively about releasing these items from your home, instead of feeling fear, regret, guilt, and shame. You also start to cultivate a newfound respect for the objects in your life.
Store more than one pair of shoes in the same box. Marie Kondo suggests storing your shoes on a shoe rack or in shoe boxes. If using shoe boxes, try storing more than one pair of shoes in each box (if they fit, of course!). Doing so will help reduce the amount of space required to store your shoes.
What I learned on day 7
Books, magazines
Be honest with yourself as to whether you will re-read that book. When I was little, I would re-read the same book over and over again. However, I rarely do this in my adult life. I find it difficult enough to find the time to read a book once, let alone two or more times. I still keep some of my favourite books in my collection — not necessarily to read again, but because they spark joy. If you're keeping a book that doesn't spark joy, ask yourself if you truly see yourself reading it again in the future.
Be honest with yourself as to whether you will ever read that book. Marie Kondo writes the following in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:
For books, timing is everything. The moment you first encounter a particular book is the right time to read it. To avoid missing that moment, I recommend that you keep your collection small.
I have found this to be true. In the past, I've purchased a huge number of books thinking I would read them eventually. Time moves on as it does, and I never did. I had to be honest with myself, and I’ve since let all those books go. Believe it or not, I can't even remember which books I had in my collection. These days, I don't bring books into my home with the intention of keeping them. I'll borrow them from the library, read them (or not), and then return them.
It’s ok to break up a collection. I love collecting things. In the past, I’ve collected titles from various authors and I amassed a huge number of books that I never read. That’s the thing about collections — we add to them without much thought because we feel an affinity toward the creator or subject matter. As I decluttered over the years, I started breaking up my collections and only keeping a select few of my most cherished books. As I tidied on day 7, I realized that I still had my entire collection of Nigella Lawson cookbooks, some of which I’d barely even leafed through. I felt a tremendous amount of resistance when breaking up this collection but eventually I let go of a few books.
The titles of books matter. Again, I'm going to quote Marie Kondo, because she says it so well in Spark Joy:
The energy of book titles and the words inside them are very powerful. In Japan, we say that "words make our reality." The words we see and with which we come into contact tend to bring about events of the same nature. In that sense, you will become the person who matches the books you have kept. What kind of books would you want in your bookcase to reflect the kind of person you aspire to be? If you choose which books to keep on that basis, you may find that the course of events in your life changes dramatically.
Ask yourself, “Does the title of this book reflect the life I want to live going forward?”
What I learned on day 8
Papers: study notes, bills, pay stubs, warranties, manuals, clippings, other papers
Start with the mindset that you will discard everything. Based on the KonMari method, all papers should be discarded except for the following: currently in use, needed for a limited period of time, or must be kept indefinitely. I found the "discard everything" mindset easy to do with non-sentimental papers. I was able to let go of most of our expired warranties and pretty much all our old manuals. I don't keep credit card statements or pay stubs, but I let go of some old receipts.
Immediately set aside sentimental papers for day 30. When I found myself struggling with papers, I realized I was holding what could be considered a sentimental item. I found this day challenging because my non-sentimental and sentimental items are stored together. Every time I came across a sentimental item, I fell into the rabbit hole of looking at it too long and taking a trip down memory lane. Instead, I should have immediately set the paper aside as soon as I realized it was in the sentimental bucket.
What I learned on day 9
Komono: cds, dvds, video games, software
Be honest with yourself about whether you will truly use these items in the future. These days, hubby and I stream pretty much everything, and we haven't listened to a CD or watched a DVD in years. Hubby doesn't have any CDs, but I still had a pretty big collection. I ended up letting go of almost all my CDs! I only kept a select few, including my entire Tori Amos collection. While I was able to let go of a few Nigella Lawson cookbooks on day 7, I wasn't able to split up my collection of Tori Amos CDs. Hubby and I managed to donate a huge portion of our DVD collection though, and I was proud of us!
Letting go of the past feels good. I felt like I was able to shed a lot of my past selves in the past two days. Growing up, I was filled with tons of creative energy, but also a huge amount of teenage angst. I had amassed most of my CD collection when I was in high school — in letting go of the CDs, I felt like I was letting go of my angst once and for all. I feel like a better version of my high school self now. My creative energy is back in full force, and while I still tend to reflect and ponder a lot, it's expressed in a healthier way.
What I learned on day 10
Komono: stationary, school supplies, office supplies
Some categories are waaay more difficult than others. After tidying CDs and DVDs, I thought I had gotten the hang of letting things go. It was so easy for me to release the CDs and DVDs that didn't spark joy. Day 10 was a bit of a rude awakening as I was not able to let go of any notebooks, notepads, or the mountains of stationary I have in my collection. It was tough seeing myself keep item after item after item, even when I knew they didn't necessarily spark joy. It felt like such a waste to recycle or donate stationary that I have every intention of using up. This was a tough subset of items for me.
Taking the time to reflect will bring up all sorts of emotions. We're only a third of the way through the tidying process, but I've already gone though a roller coaster of emotions. I've been thinking a lot about how I became a person who is so clingy to objects, and why I feel such anxiety when trying to let go of certain things. I'm glad I've taken the time to reflect though, as that's how change happens. I can see myself coming out of this 30-day tidying challenge as a better person, who is more appreciative of my home and the objects contained therein, not as focused on material things, and much more present.
When hanging onto something that doesn't spark joy, picture yourself coming across that item again in 5, 10, or 15 years. I was tempted to hang onto a lot of things today, like compass sets, a calligraphy set, a wax seal, and stamping supplies. These items are easy to squirrel away in a box for "one day," but then I pictured myself opening the box in 5, 10, or 15 years and going through the same struggle of whether to keep the items. I didn't want to do that to my future self, and that was enough to give my current self permission to release these items.
What I learned on day 11
Komono: Phones, cameras, headphones, cords, cables, batteries, other electronics
Some categories of items won't spark joy. There will be some categories of items that just don't sing to you. Electronics is one of those for me. I found it tedious to go through these items, and none of them truly sparked joy. I understood the usefulness of the items, and I appreciated them in that sense, but they were purely functional to me. I thought back to what I learned on day 1 and wondered if my definition of “spark joy” would eventually expand to include these items. (Spoiler alert: it did!)
Taking time to carefully tidy cords, cables, and hard drives helps relieve mental clutter. Sorting through the cords, cables, and hard drives took a lot of time. I was mentally exhausted by the end, but I was so glad I took the time to carefully go through it all. When I was done, I felt like I had offloaded a lot of mental clutter, and my mind felt clearer and more at ease.
Electrical items emit a different scent. This is something I read about in Marie Kondo's books that I found very interesting. While I didn't sniff these items myself, Lulu was fascinated by all the items I set aside to tidy today, so there must be some truth to this!
What I learned on day 12
Komono: skincare, makeup, makeup bags, nail polish
Certain categories are fun to tidy. My skincare and makeup collection is relatively pared down compared to before, and I've put in a lot of hours decluttering these items in the past. As a result, day 12 wasn't really an exercise in spark joy for me, but rather a chance to take stock of what I’ve kept in my stash. As soon as I sat down and got tactile with my makeup and skincare, I was in my element! I didn't let go of a lot, but I was able to get all like items together (except for a few subcategories of skincare, which I will continue to store in the bathroom). After a few challenging days, it was nice to have some fun with tidying.
Beware of the sunk cost fallacy. I spent so much time organizing my nail polish in the past. I had 400 bottles, and I decided I wanted a swatch stick for each shade. I can't even express how many hours it took me to swatch each nail polish, label the swatch stick, and enter the nail polish into a spreadsheet. I had fun doing it at the time, and when I came across the swatch sticks during my tidying today, I was tempted to hang onto them because of all the hours I had spent. In essence, this is the sunk cost fallacy, and as soon as I realized this, I knew I had to kick these swatch sticks to the curb. Hanging onto possessions you never use just because you spent a lot of time or money on them does not contribute to a home that sparks joy.
What I learned on day 13
Komono: perfume, body sprays, essential oils, candles, home fragrances
Letting go of entire categories of items feels liberating. I use a lot of categories of products within the overall beauty bucket. When I started simplifying my life, I started looking for entire categories of products that I could eliminate. While I didn't declutter a lot in the fragrance category on day 13, I have pretty much eliminated these categories in terms of future purchases. I plan to use up what I have, but I don't plan to buy any perfumes or body sprays ever again. It feels great to no longer have to restock items as I use them up. And if you do decide to let go of an entire category of item (instead of using up your existing stash like I am), go for it!! You don't have to keep one or two of something; keeping zero can be even better.
Keep the big picture in mind on lighter tidying days. Day 13 was a light day for me in terms of tidying because I plan to use up all the items I have, and these items are pretty much already stored together. On days like today, I try to keep the big picture in mind by planning ahead for the upcoming categories or starting to think about where I'd like to store things when I get to the organization stage. The other thing I like to do is take a break! This is a very intense 30-day challenge, and taking breaks when you need them will help rejuvenate you for the remaining days.
What I learned on day 14
Komono: vitamins, minerals
Let go of all expired vitamins and medicines. It doesn't really bother me to have some items that are a little bit past their expiration date in certain categories of products; however, as soon as vitamins and medicines expire, I let them go. Spark joy is such a discretionary and subjective concept that it's nice to have an objective threshold for whether to keep something in this tidying journey.
Let go of all vitamins and medicines you don't intend to use. I think this is harder to implement, and I found myself hanging onto certain vitamins and medicines that I never intend to take, simply because they were not expired. This included some supplements that I purchased from a naturopath over six months ago that didn't work for me. I knew I wouldn't take them again, but I was still hesitant to let them go, because "what if?" What if I want to try them again? What if I decide to take them one day? In these situations, "what if" usually means never, so I bit the bullet and let them go.
What I learned on day 15
Komono: credit cards, passports, spare change, coupons, other valuables
Store coupons and gift cards in a strategic location so you can remember to use them. After tidying on day 15, I only hung onto three coupons, and I've already used two of them! I used to store my coupons in the laundry area, but I never look in that little room before heading out. When I was tidying, I decided to store the following items vertically in the same box: our wallets, keys, gift cards, loyalty cards, and coupons. When I grab my keys on my way out now, I can be reminded to also bring with me any gift cards, loyalty cards, or coupons. It's such a simple change, but so effective.
Tidying valuables helps relieve some mental clutter. I was surprised that tidying these items helped with mental clutter, similar to when I tidied cords, cables, and hard drives on day 11. It felt good to discard expired coupons and old loyalty cards, and it felt comforting to know exactly what "valuables" I have and where everything resides in my home.
It will get worse before it gets better. We are now halfway through the 30-day tidying challenge, and my condo is an absolute disaster zone! I have a pile of items that need to be donated, categories of items that have been tidied but not put away, and categories of items yet to be tidied that are waiting for their moment to shine. It's hard to start this tidying process because disturbing the status quo means your neatly organized (albeit cluttered) home will be in complete disarray for at least a month. It bothers me to have things lying around everywhere, and it's annoying to have to move boxes of things to cook/eat dinner or to film a video, but I know it will be worth it in the end. As I complete each day of tidying, I know I'm that much closer to having a home that truly sparks joy.
What I learned on day 16
Komono: sewing supplies, tools
It's difficult to let go of items in categories you have an affinity towards. I have a strong affinity towards several categories, most of which relate to arts and crafts. Sewing supplies is one of these categories. Four years ago, when I first attempted the KonMari method, I let go of the majority of my patterns and fabric, but I still have a few remnants. This time, I was able to let go of all my remaining patterns, but I kept most of my remaining fabric, as well as my sewing machine, and pretty much all my needles and thread. I'd like to pick up sewing again — in particular, I want to alter a few garments in the next little while.
It's difficult to let go of items in categories you are not familiar with. Tools is one of these categories for me. I used to be familiar with tools — in fact, I enjoyed buying tools and fixing things; however, similar to electronics, when hubby and I got together, he took over these categories. I found it very difficult to tidy tools because hubby purchased most of these items, so I'm not sure what some of them are or if we still need them. I had to rely on his input a lot today, and it was exhausting to sort through so many new things that I didn't even realize we had. We were able to let go of a few things, but it was a challenging day for me.
What I learned on day 17
Komono: hobby supplies, craft supplies
Be honest with yourself about whether an old hobby still sparks joy and whether you’ll actually invest the time in a hobby going forward. I am definitely someone who has a huge range of interests, but I always had the excuse of not having enough time to pursue all the different hobbies on my list: drawing, painting, colouring, sewing, learning to play the flute, doing puzzles, making jewelry, taking photos, and, of course, recording YouTube videos. On day 17, I only tidied my painting, jewelry making, and photography supplies, but I still have items in all the aforementioned categories of hobbies. Now that I have more time, I'm eager to see which hobbies I actually end up gravitating towards. And if I don’t pick up the hobby, I’m hoping I can let go of the supplies.
Designate one storage space for hobby supplies. Marie Kondo recommends this approach whether you have one main hobby or multiple hobbies. Hubby and I have way too much photography equipment to store it with the rest of my hobby supplies. Instead, I'll be creating a shared space for our photography gear (both in the condo and in the locker), and a single storage space for my other hobbies (sewing, painting, and jewelry making).
It is natural to feel frustrated during the process, but try to look at the tidying journey as a self development exercise. I have been feeling all kinds of feels during the 30-day tidying challenge. These past two days in particular have been very frustrating, but I am trying to remain in good spirits and picture the end result. I don't want to take my negative emotions out on hubby or on myself. We've accumulated a lot of things in the past, but I'm trying to remain grateful for what the excess has taught me, let go, thank the items, and move on. I’ve been meditating every day during the challenge, and I find that helps a lot. I was worried that hubby and I would get into arguments during the process, but we've actually been getting along very well.
What I learned on day 18
Komono: home decor, figurines, collectibles, picture frames
Gathering all like items together shows you exactly how much you have in each category. When you gather everything you have in any given category during the tidying process, you may be surprised by how many items you’ve collected over the years. It's hard to tell how much you have when everything is displayed (or stored) in various locations in your home. I was shocked by the number of items hubby and I had accumulated in the home decor category.
Gathering all like items together shows you the relative spark-joy-ness of each item. When gathering all like items, it’s important to include the items you love that you know you will be keeping. Having these items provides a baseline for what sparks joy. As you start picking out items to keep, you will immediately gravitate to the items you love. Eventually, you will come to a point when you slow down, and have to think about the next item to pick up. This is when you’ll know that you are getting to the end of the items that spark joy. On day 18, there was a clear divide for me, which was very reassuring!
The KonMari method is not necessarily about minimalism. I've heard a lot of people confuse the KonMari method with minimalism, or assume that the concepts are synonymous. The heart of the KonMari method is to keep the items that spark joy, no matter how many items that may be. While someone who practices the KonMari method may also be a minimalist, this does not always have to be the case.
What I learned on day 19
Komono: just because items, junk drawer items, spare buttons, key chains, old keys, old phone cases, this & that
Try not to have a junk drawer going forward. Once I'm done tidying, I'm hoping to have a place for every single thing in my home. I'm not planning to have a junk drawer or a catch-all place for any "this and that" possessions that are solely my own, or that hubby and I share. If it's not possible to have a place for every single item in your home, try to limit your "this and that" items to one "just because" drawer or box. That being said, I think some of us are still prone to keeping a lot of "this and that" items (this includes my husband!), so at the end of the day, just try to do the best you can.
We're all at different places on this journey, and that's ok. Some of us are prone to keeping more items than others. Perhaps some of us have more things that spark joy. Perhaps some of us feel more sentimental about objects. Perhaps some of us are more fearful of letting something go that we may need or want in the future. Perhaps some of us are more sensitive to the sunk cost fallacy, which I wrote about on day 12. Spark joy and the number of items we keep lie on a spectrum, and we're all at different places on the spectrum. Throughout the process, it's more important to go through your own journey as an individual, rather than get upset or frustrated with a family member. Of course, I feel frustration at times, but I try to keep the big picture in mind and understand that we're all unique. Let's not compare, and instead support each other.
What I learned on day 20
Komono category: linen, bedding, blankets, throws, pillows, towels
We don't need as many linens as we think. Linens can develop a musty scent when stored away for some time. For that reason, I'm going to try to keep only one or two sets of bedsheets going forward. We typically only use one set anyway, as I wash them and put them right back on the bed when they're warm and smelling fresh straight out of dryer. I'm going to try the same approach with towels (use one main set, and perhaps keep another set as backup).
Thinking of linens as being functional rather than decorative saves a lot of storage space. Hubby and I have never really gotten into having a lot of seasonal or decorative throws and pillows. We have a lot of throws, but we use them all year round to snuggle up and keep cozy in the condo. Not having linens that you switch out depending on the season or occasion saves a lot of storage space!
What I learned on day 21
Komono: toys, games, puzzles
Play is essential for adults and children alike. I love to play. I love unwinding with a good game — throwing a Frisbee around outside, or going to an escape room, or playing Pokemon Go on my phone. I spend a lot of hours playing, but I rarely feel like it's wasted time. When I was working full-time, I played mainly to de-stress. Now that I'm not working full-time, I play to spark my creativity and to unwind. The more I play, the more space I have for creative projects. I feel rejuvenated, I get motivated, and I come up with new ideas. For this reason, I didn't try too hard to let go of items in this subset of categories, and I didn't beat myself up when I wanted to keep things. I had fun today.
Don't wait too long to do your bucket list items. I've loved jigsaw puzzles since I can remember. When I was little, I had an antique world map puzzle, and I would repeatedly complete the puzzle, break it up, and complete it again. I eventually taped all the pieces together, thereby losing the ability to ever complete the puzzle again. When I started working full-time, one of the first things I bought to treat myself were — you guessed it — antique world map puzzles. I accumulated around four or five of these puzzles, but I only ever completed one of them. I thought I would never have the time or space to complete any others, so I ended up selling one or two of them. I have three left in my collection: a 3000-piece, a 5000-piece, and a mammoth 9000-piece puzzle. Doing all three of these puzzles is on my bucket list, and I intend to complete them within the next few years. Life is short, so I fully believe we should complete our bucket list items as soon as feasibly possible.
What I learned on day 22
Komono: recreational items, luggage, travel items
Be honest with yourself about whether you see your future self using your recreational items. We don't often use our recreational items. Last summer, I had every intention of heading to Centre Island (or some other green space) to throw a Frisbee around, but it never happened. I kept the Frisbee, but hubby managed to convince me to let go of the majority of our camping supplies. I enjoy camping, but he most definitely doesn't, and it's a ton of work for a couple of nights in the great outdoors. I agreed to let go of our very old tent, two sleeping bags, camping lantern, tarps, and air mattresses. And you know what? It felt good. To be quite honest, I haven't had the camping bug in several years, so the chances of us going camping in the future are slim to none. We did keep our camping chairs, an outdoor electrical cord, and our butane burner.
It feels good to let go of big bulky items! I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment when I let go of big bulky items. The camping gear fit into this category, and we also said goodbye to our snorkeling gear. All our recreational items were stored in the locker, and there is noticeably more room now, which I'm going to use to reorganize the items we decide to keep.
What I learned on day 23
Komono: seasonal decor, christmas items, halloween items, gift bags, gift wrap, ribbons
Hubby and I were really into gift giving, which meant we built up a lot of gift giving paraphernalia. We had piles and piles and (dusty) piles of gift giving paraphernalia. Not only did we have gift wrap, ribbons, cards, tissue paper, bows, and gift bags, but we also had a ton of shopping bags from our huge shopping addiction. I was able to let go of the majority of these items — more than half — and I plan to store most of it in the locker. I don't plan to use these supplies too frequently, since I mostly give cash, gift cards, experiences, or consumables now. It felt liberating to let go of almost all of this stuff. Full disclosure: I kept a few "just in case" items.
During this process, it's normal to feel frustration, sadness, guilt, shame, and even anger. I've felt a number of moments of frustration, but today, I felt a prolonged period of guilt, sadness, shame, and anger. There was a point, as I was pulling out everything from under the bed, when I was enveloped in a cloud (of dust perhaps). I felt paralyzed and didn't know if I could muster enough energy to continue with tidying today's subset of categories. I took it one moment at a time, sitting with the negative emotions as I learned during the 10-day meditation course. And slowly, I started feeling better. With every item I touched and tidied, the cloud lifted a tiny bit. The negative emotions ebbed and flowed but were ultimately displaced by feelings of accomplishment. If you feel any negative emotions during this process, it's important to observe them. And then, just keep going.
What I learned on day 24
Komono: rain gear, emergency supplies, flashlights, first aid kits
We have a lot of everything, except for things we might actually need in the event of an emergency. Today's subset of categories threw me for a loop. I have so much in every single category of items, except for emergency supplies. Hubby and I don't even have a proper first aid kit! While I'm not looking to purchase anything right now, I was curious as to what type of items I should have on hand in case of an emergency. Here is a list of items that the Government of Canada website recommends for an emergency kit, and here is a list of items that the Canadian Red Cross website recommends for a first aid kit.
What I learned on day 25
Komono: kitchen komono, eating implements, cups, mugs, cooking tools, storage containers, table decor
"Tidying the kitchen first is a sure way to fail." This statement jumped out at me when I first read Spark Joy. There are a couple reasons we enter the kitchen so deep into the komono category. The first is that we need to build our spark joy muscle, so we can hone in on what exactly to keep. The second reason is to avoid buying unnecessary storage units, since we need so many to store all the different items we keep in the kitchen. I can attest to both of these statements. If you've been following my journey over the years, you'll know that I do an annual kitchen clean-out each December. In the past several years, I haven't been decluttering much, because I thought I needed everything I had. Now that I'm 25 days into this tidying challenge, I'm much more honed in on what sparks joy. As a result, I was able to clear out a lot of mugs in particular, which then allowed me to shuffle things around to make our kitchen more efficient. Also, hubby and I let go of so many things in the first 24 days of tidying that I now have a ton of empty storage containers that I can draw upon to help with organization.
Marie Kondo tells us that most restaurant kitchens are focused on ease of cleaning, not ease of use. I've been trying to clear off the countertops for years, and I've done a pretty good job, but I made even more progress during this tidying challenge. Hubby and I were able to let go of our Nespresso machine (he brought it to work to use there), and I found myself looking for ways to clear off even more counter space. It certainly does make the kitchen easier to clean. And I love cooking in a clean kitchen!
What I learned on day 26
Komono: pantry items, refrigerated food, frozen food, drinks
Keep your overall vision in mind. As you're tidying, think about that vision you created for yourself on day 0. What type of life do you want to lead going forward? Do the things in your home support that lifestyle? How can the items in your home help you live your best life? These were questions I tried to ask myself each day as I went through my many possessions. Sometimes, I got distracted and I’d lose sight of the overall vision, but similar to meditation, when I realize I'd wandered off, I try to come back.
Let go of expired items and food you don't plan to consume (or want to consume) going forward. I really should take my own advice here, but for some reason, I can't let go of our processed snacks. We have a ton of Lindt chocolate and other goodies we purchased over the holidays. After 25 days of tidying, I'm already starting to feel like a different person, and I'm super motivated to change my life going forward. I'd like to continue to shift my diet as well to include more whole foods, fruit and vegetables, and generally good-for-me ingredients. I'm going to try to limit my consumption of processed snacks.
What I learned on day 27
Komono: reusable bags, plastic bags, empty boxes
Reusable bags tend to accumulate very quickly. Hubby and I have decluttered our reusable bags before, and we haven't really been shopping very much lately, yet our collection of reusable bags somehow grew again. There are only a couple of reusable bags I gravitate to on a regular basis. I'll definitely be keeping those and perhaps a few others in the condo. As for the rest of them? I'm loathe to declutter them as I may use them for future donations, but since we have so many, I'll be letting go of some and storing the rest in our locker.
By now, you may have a lot of empty boxes that you can use for organization. Hubby and I let go of so many things in the 26 days leading up to today that we have a slew of empty boxes that we can now use for organization! I've earmarked many of them for hubby's things so he doesn't have to keep "finding space" for them in the wall unit. I'm not sure I'll need them all, but I'll use as many as I can and potentially store the rest. We have a lot of nice boxes that we can use as our old boxes wear out.
Finding an organization solution to a longstanding problem area is a marvelous thing! The plastic bag situation in our condo felt like Groundhog Day. Every time I folded up all the bags and had them organized, they would inevitably get messed up again within months. The problem was that I was storing them in the wrong place — they were up high in a cupboard above the stove that I could barely reach, so I would just shove the bags in as best I could. Then I would open the cupboard, and plastic bags would rain down. Not ideal! With this tidying challenge, I decided to solve the issue once and for all. I folded the bags into little triangles and organized them in a couple of empty boxes. Success!
What I learned on day 28
Komono: cleaning supplies, laundry supplies, pet supplies
It’s hard to let go of backup products. Marie Kondo advocates letting go on any items you have in excess (i.e., massive amounts of back-up items). I couldn't seem to do this, because I know I will use the Dr. Bronner's soap and other products I've stocked up on. Instead of keeping these like items together though, I've decided to store the back-up items where I have some newfound storage space — in the many baskets at the top of the wall unit and in the locker. I’ll be more mindful not to stock up on too many things and try to implement a just-in-time inventory system over time.
Certain categories are fun to tidy. Pet supplies is one of these categories for me! Truffle and Lulu bring me so much joy, and they are not picky about material things, so it was easy to determine what to keep and what to let go of. Overall, I really enjoyed tidying pet supplies, and I was in good spirits throughout the process.
What I learned on day 29
Komono: bathroom komono, hair care, toiletries
By storing like items together, there is a clearly defined set of products that belong in the bathroom. While the particulars may be different for each person, if you've been storing like items together, you'll come across some things during tidying that no longer belong in the bathroom. For example, during today's tidying, I found a bottle of acetone, a sewing kit, and many items we only use for travel — all tucked away in our bathroom cabinets. After removing all these items, I was able to better organize what remained. I was also able to store all hair accessories in the bathroom, alongside my hair care products. I'm not sure why I didn't think of this before — previously, I had hair accessories stored both in the bathroom and in the living room.
The effects of an inflated stash lingers long after you've stopped shopping. I haven't shopped a whole lot in recent years. Since I've been steadily using up products, I would have thought that I'd be relatively close to the end of my stash. Ummm, not really. I still had lots of products left in my collection of hair care and toiletries! Part of the reason is because I stocked up on way too many products during sales in the past. It's going to take me quite a bit more time to dwindle down my stash.
What I learned on day 30
Sentimental items
Set aside a few of your favourite sentimental items to use as a benchmark for spark joy. I don't typically attach sentimentality to a particular time or place, but rather to a particular person. I still struggle with feeling guilty when I let go of things that people give me. The closer the person, the greater the guilt. I'm trying to get past this, but it's difficult. I tried to group my sentimental items by person and keep only 1-2 favourites, but it didn't work. In order to keep "spark joy" at the top of my mind, I pulled out a few of my favourite sentimental items and put them where I could see them. I made sure to select at least one item from each of my favourite people, including my husband, family members, and close friends. I also selected a travel item and our time capsule. These items helped centre me when I was feeling overwhelmed.
Unless the entire album sparks joy, take the photos out of their albums so you can review each photo individually. I'm not gonna lie, this was a huge pain-in-the-butt type task, but it worked. Most of my albums are more like scrapbooks, so it is next to impossible to remove the photos, plus I look at these periodically and they still spark joy. I only had two albums of slip-in photos that I decided to empty out. It was tedious but worth it. I was able to let go of around 2/3 of these photos.
Cards and letters have served their purpose the moment they are read by the recipient. In The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo writes:
The purpose of a letter is fulfilled the moment it is received. By now, the person who wrote it has long forgotten what he or she wrote and even the letter's very existence.
I read this many times, but it was still hard to follow that advice. In the end, I let go of many cards and letters, including most of the letters from my childhood best friend. We became pen pals when I moved to California at nine years of age. Seeing her letters did spark joy, but we've since lost touch, so I just kept two of my favourites. I also let go of some cards from my biological mom, which was no easy task. Some of you know she passed away when I was 20 years old, so I wanted to cling to every single item that she gave me. I kept all the letters and many of the cards, but I was able to let go of a few.
If you decide to keep an item, keep it with confidence. This passage in Spark Joy struck me as being very important and relevant:
If you cannot bring yourself to throw something away, keep it with confidence. It might be a T-shirt designed by your high school class for a school festival, for example, but if you can't part with it, keep it. Don't berate yourself for not being able to throw away something as simple as that. Rather, trust your instincts, which you have already honed by choosing what to keep and what to discard for an astounding number of things. As long as you have approached that T-shirt with integrity, the day will come when you know that it has fulfilled its job.
The couple key points in this passage are to (a) trust yourself and (b) be gentle with yourself. All your tidying up to this point has honed your intuition for "spark joy" so trust that intuition! At the same time, it has been a long and difficult journey, so be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to make very human decisions. What you decide to keep is what you decide to keep — this is a judgment free zone with no "wrong" decisions!
What I learned overall
Don't pick things to discard. Instead, select things to keep. This change in mindset is a major paradigm shift that really works. When you try to pick things to discard, your mind gives you all sorts of reasons why you can't or shouldn't let it go. This approach is rooted in scarcity and fear. However, when you select things to keep, you are setting your sights on what you truly love. This approach focuses on abundance and joy. Each time I used the "selecting things to keep" method, there was a clear distinction between the items that sparked joy and the items that didn't spark joy. You may find yourself reverting back to the "picking things to discard" method, because it's the method most of us have used to declutter for pretty much our entire lives. As soon as you're aware that you've reverted back, do your best to switch to the "selecting items to keep" method.
If you feel negative emotions during this tidying journey, use them as a catalyst for change. There were times during this tidying journey when I felt like a terrible human being. I've struggled with this a lot in my years of excess, but I could never really verbalize it until now. I felt a tremendous sense of regret, embarrassment, shame, frustration, sadness, and even anger at having built up so much excess and clutter. While it felt good each time I was able to let an item go, part of me hated myself for having wasted the item. For me, this wasn't so much about the money spent on acquiring the item, but more so about the environmental resources wasted. I never want to feel this way again, so I am going to leverage these negative emotions to make better decisions going forward. Mottainai is a Japanese concept that encapsulates the feeling of regret at having wasted something, and I felt this throughout my tidying journey.
Be the change you want to see. Many of us embarking on the tidying journey wonder how we can get our spouse, family member, or roommate to tidy. I'm sure you've read that it's best to focus on your own stuff, and I can attest that this advice is sound. As soon as I stopped nagging my husband to declutter (I did this a lot in the past) and simply tidied my own things, he started tidying too. Part of the reason he did this was because he saw how much effort I was putting into the process. I also provided some gentle nudges though:
As I tidied, I would inevitably come across a few of his things; instead of ignoring them, I would put them on his desk for him to go through.
I asked him to help me with a few things, like going to the locker to bring up a few categories of items.
Each time he seemed the slightest bit interested, I tried to explain the concepts and guidelines behind what I was doing.
I tried to convey that tidying could be fun and rewarding, by showing him how my items were becoming neat and organized.
I offered to help him tidy and respected his decision when he (repeatedly) declined my offer. :)
It's been two years since I've finished tidying and I can truly say that this process was life changing. I feel like a more thoughtful and intentional version of myself. While I still have lots to learn, I'm thoroughly enjoyed this journey of self-awareness and self-reflection.
♥︎
